Maybe they get taken up in feathery chariots. Perhaps they just run out of puff and disappear in midair flight.

In my last full-time parish, the church’s ceiling fans were lethal for birds. One day at Mass one of the Noisy Mickies (Mynors) found its way into the church. After flying circuits around the holy place it eventually hit the fan. “Clunk” went the bird and “oooh” went God’s worshiping people. I interrupted the Liturgy of Word and with dignity took the bird outside. Afterwards a decent burial was in order but the bird was nowhere to be seen.

Crows are reckoned as the most intelligent of all the birds. One day two crows had a cat bailed up on top of the chook house. The cat didn’t stand a chance and after an hour or so it called it a day. I’m sure that if it had remained a few minutes more the feline would have gone home minus its peepers.

Not far from Noosa at Boreen Point on Lake Catharaba a popular eatery is to be found in what was once a hotel. A family of Kookaburras have made themselves at home there. Four of us gathered there for a meal but as one of our party was about to enjoy his first bite one of the Kookaburras decided the mouthful was his. What a scene! Spectacles went flying, chips went flying and bird of course ditto. Fortunately the management ‘shooed’ the birdies away and peace prevailed.

Magpies and butcher birds are a common sight around my neck of the woods. The song of the butcher birds is a magnificent chortle.

Unfortunately they live up to their names when given the opportunity and attack other species. One report recently was that of a pigeon fancier who let his prize bird out for a flutter. But a butcher bird lurked and struck.

Across the ‘ditch’ in New Zealand friends of mine in Christchurch have a strong dislike of our magpies. The maggies are not native over there and somehow or other have established themselves. They are hated by the locals because they attack and despatch the finches and other small birds native to the Islands. I believe there is a government bounty for any maggies that are despatched and bird traps are freely provided.

Pelicans seem to favour this Redcliffe Peninsula where I live in retirement. These remarkable aquatics love to roost on the lights of the bridge that connects Redcliffe to Brisbane. The local council thought it time to dissuade this roosting habit due to the birds’ habit of defecating upon passing vehicles. A contraption of wires was placed on the first four lights as a test run. The locals were up in arms and a meeting to condemn the antipelican action attracted a huge gathering of irate burghers. The wires are still in place on these first four lamp stands but the pelicans are free to roost on the remainder.

When the rains came earlier this year and Lake Eyre began to fill, the pelicans took off and headed west to feed and propagate. How did they know? Banyo Seminary was once home to families of small hawks named ‘Nanking Kestrels’.

They loved to roost atop of the rainwater downpipes or the statues of the evangelists that adorned the bell tower. At mating times these masters of aerial manoeuvres would screech and scream to their concupiscent content.

Once the motorway was constructed nearby, the kestrels moved out and are now gone forever. Their walkout coincided with that of many students who wondered about their future prospects, too, and moved out..

And I am still none the wiser as to where the birdies go when they depart this life.

Harry Bliss